I had a good idea to start my day. Or, did I?

I would make a pot of five cups of coffee and keep it warm throughout the day. You know, just in case friends dropped by, and I could delight them with a cup of my favorite brew. Although, that’s a rare thing … you know, friends just popping by unannounced.

Is that even a thing, anymore? When I was a child, popping by was a thing. Maybe we were more hospitable as country folk so it was just part of our culture. Maybe it was, hold on, because we needed community.

But adults, for God’s sake. How dare we break cultural norms and show up unexpectedly. It could be the end of the world for us or someone else. A room could be messy. A kitchen not yet cleaned. Our lives in disarray. Or, we’re in our bathrobe. And then there’s the COVID thing. I understand that particular fear, but I don’t live by that fear. I’d rather die by living a life without fear or anxiety than not live at all and still die, eventually.

Well, I normally make almost two cups for my morning fuel. A cup and 3/4 to be exact. Why the odd amount? I think it’s just to trick my mind by saying I don’t drink two cups in the morning. Two sounds unhealthy. Too much caffeine, maybe? But I haven’t really engineered this thing out. Just sounds reasonable. Wonder how many things and routines we do throughout our day are just because it seems rational. And it would vanish as stupidity if we took a few minutes to put pen and paper to it?

Now when I repeat the same coffee-making process in the afternoon, I can tell myself, and others, should they inquire, that I just have a few cups a day. But, four cups of coffee. That’s sounds addictive. Hellishly habitual.

I confess. I do cheat and have a cup at night before bed, sometimes. But, it’s rare. See how I said, “rare.” That’s such a great word. I can still say I only have a few cups a day and just forget about the ‘rare’ part, because I said, “rare.” And I rarely use the word ‘rare,’ so I’m all good.

Oh, my Lord, the way I inflict mind control on my own mind is scary.

Even if I have a cup of coffee at night, it’s not because it’s a comfort food or anything like that. It’s a “reward,” if you will, for making it another day. It actually helps me go to sleep, too. Just when I wake up at 2 a.m. and have to read the news for two hours because I’m bouncing, then, maybe it’s not such a good thing.

screwed up coffee

So I had my system down with just the right scoop of Banana Fosters Float or Maple Bacon Morning. And just the right amount of water, spring, naturally. (By now you figured out my favorite brew is Boca Java. I loved it before I found out I could become an advertising affiliate. So when you click on any links I provide, don’t think I’m singing their praises just to make a few bucks. Boca Java is my gift to the world. I’m such a philanthropist.)

Yep, just the right amount of everything. So today, for my five cups, I loaded up. I read the recommended amount on the bag. One and a half to two tablespoons per cup. I went with the high end. My filter was packed to the brim, and I thought I was on my way to great things.

Honestly, I had to search Google for to verify I knew the size of a tablespoon. So, I don’t cook much. Sue me. I am a microwave chef.

I was correct. I had been using a tablespoon all along. I do have a question about the teaspoon, though. Why is a teaspoon not long enough to stir your sugar in a tall glass of tea. If it slips out of your fingers you have to go fishin’. Do you Yankees put sugar in your tea? I heard a few years back that wasn’t a northern thing. So I guess for sure you wouldn’t know what an iced teaspoon is. FYI: It has a longer handle with the end smaller than a teaspoon.

Maybe an iced teaspoon should just be called a teaspoon. And the teaspoon should just be a soup spoon, which is what I use it for. But, then again, a soup spoon is something different altogether. Oh, how proper we must be with all the various utensils. Just give me a tool that gets the product into my cakehole, already!

Anyway, I screwed up the coffee. Way too strong. Easily remedied, or so I thought. I’ll just add some cool spring water. Not enough to turn it cold, but just enough to lessen the bitter, full-body kick I created.

Nope. That didn’t fix the problem. After trying this twice, I accepted my home brew was a total loss. Then the irritating voices inside me that like to suggest I’m a failure and the other one that accuses me of not being precise enough, grew louder.

But I shut them up more quickly this time. Part of my continuing resolution to kill the inner and outer negative voices and develop a more positive mindset. I admit, I felt anger over this, but briefly. What a waste! A waste of coffee and water … and, time, even. But, then I calmed. Let me think this through for a moment.

Firstly, I may have lost 50 cents in brew and H2O. Seriously? Something to get upset about?

Secondly, it was only a small amount of time. Five minutes if that long to make another pot? Oooooh, cry me a river. This time I congratulated myself. If I don’t, who will? I had tried something different today. I took a risk. Tried to take life to a new level, albeit, a small, but possibly significant one.

I was trying to set my home space as more hospitable and to lose some of my hermit ways. I want folks to drop by, unexpectedly. Maybe not every day,  but still make them feel welcomed always. In my efforts to live the madly-passionate life, making new friends and building stronger relationships is part of that.

My daily planner even recommends and reminds me of this with questions such as who is “someone I could surprise with a note, gift or sign of appreciation.” And, whom do “I need to lead or connect with today (and how to do it well.) Sometimes I can’t think of anyone, except myself. So, I write ‘me” down. Truth is, connecting with myself, especially as a man, is a challenge. As a studly macho type, saying this out loud can sound feminine. No offense girls, I do give you props. You understand this part of living better than most guys; connections.

See, now that I’m making strides in breaking out of my routine mental bubble and facing the truth about lies we tell ourselves, this sounds kind of silly. We do need others. And healthy relationships are vital to healthy living.

And, even if we had all the “success” in the world, if we don’t have healthy relationships, does that success mean a whole lot? Especially, if you have no one to share it with?

You decide. I’m just putting it to pen and paper.